Peer Review

Around 2:00 a.m. on Friday night/Saturday morning, as we sat around the picnic table adjacent to the campfire at the annual Hill Street Ward Campout, John-David McElderry was lamenting that none of his scientific writing had ever been published. Most of his peers in the PhD program in chemistry at the University of Michigan have published their research, and I told him that he could immediately join their ranks if he could produce up a piece of scientific writing for me on the spot. John was initially reluctant, but after enough peer pressure (especially from his fiancée Kristen) we convinced him to whip up something. So give a warm Brian Presents: welcome to John as he makes his published debut:

John wanted me to remind everyone that this is a first draft and it was written in the dark on a camping trip (although I did lend him a cool pen that lit up and it is written on a New York Times notepad which instantly gives him more credibility). Regardless, John has at least taken the plunge into the world of publishing and I'm sure that for the next few days my blog is going to be overrun with traffic from editors of academic journals. There will be an inevitable bidding war over the exclusive rights to publish all of John's forthcoming research, which makes me wonder if chemists have agents. If you want my continued services, John, I'll take a very reasonable 30% cut of your publishing/overall revenue and a $500-a-month retainer for my services. Think it over because this offer will come off the table soon. And don't forget to recommend me to all your peers.