Scenes from the LA Job Search: The Hip-Hop Mogul

One of the first job ads that I responded to in L.A. was for a call center where they do telephone surveys. You know, the people who call you up all like, "Hello, this is some guy from some place on behalf of some thing. We're not selling anything, but wanted to ask you a few questions about some issue. Would you care to participate?"

I had worked extensively in call centers when I was an undergrad and I wasn't especially thrilled to go back, but this particular ad mentioned that they needed fluent Portuguese speakers to conduct surveys in Portuguese. I thought that sounded fun, plus it paid double the normal rate.

So I applied and got invited to the training session. They told me to dress 'business casual' so I wore a nice button-up shirt and slacks. However, I got there and everyone else was wearing ragged flannel shirts and holey jeans. Plus, I was the only one there without visible tattoos or an eyebrow piercing or two. During the training they had us go around the room and take turns reading from a manual, and half of the people in the room either couldn't read or had to slowly sound out the words. Needless to say, I felt out of place.

At the beginning of the training, they made everyone introduce themselves - name, where you're from, hobbies - and this one kid in the back stands up for his turn. He reminded me of Jeffrey from season three of Project Runway (seen on right) - in a black t-shirt with a swooping neck to better show off his chest and neck tattoos, plus three or four studs on each earlobe. He says his name is Jordan, from L.A., and that he is a professional musician.

During the training they gave us a ten minute break, during which time I thought it would be interesting to talk to Jordan, us both being musicians and all. Below I have transcribed our conversation nearly word for word (well, as accurately as I could remember after three months). And since it happened in L.A., I wrote the scene out in screenplay format.

*****

FADE IN:

EXT. CALL CENTER MAIN ENTRANCE - DAY

BRIAN emerges from the automatic sliding doors into the harsh afternoon sunlight. The entrance is lined by several date palms and there are several concrete benches. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he spies JORDAN leaning against the wall behind a bench, texting. Brian approaches him slowly.

BRIAN
(politely)
Hey. So, it's Jordan, right?

JORDAN
(not looking up from his phone)
Huh? Oh, yeah.

BRIAN
Sorry, but I heard you say in there
that you are a musician?

JORDAN
(still looking at phone)
Yeah, I'm a record producer.

BRIAN
(surprised)
Yeah? That's pretty cool. I do some music too.

JORDAN
(putting away phone)
Yeah? I'm pretty huge. I work with
50 Cent, Diddy, Tupac. I just finished
making some beats for Kanye.

BRIAN
(Dubious)
Oh yeah? I heard his album is dropping
pretty soon? Did you work on that?

JORDAN
Yeah... the beats I gave him are a little too
forward-looking - a little too hot, you know?
It'll probably go unreleased.

BRIAN
Yeah, I know how that goes. So... since you're a
big hip-hop producer, what are you doing at a
call center training session?

JORDAN
You know, my talents keep getting disrespected
by the industry so I'm starting my own
studio and I need to buy all the equipment.

BRIAN
Like what kind of stuff?

JORDAN
Oh, like software. I have mastered over 2,000
music programs and I need to buy all those. Plus
like, amps and stuff.

BRIAN
Whoa. 2,ooo programs sounds expensive.

JORDAN
Yeah it is ai't. And this is one of the few
high-paying jobs that will take 16 year-olds.

BRIAN
(stunned)
Wait, you're 16?

JORDAN
Yeah bro.

BRIAN
Shouldn't you be in school right now?

JORDAN
(incredulous)
Dude, you think I'd have any cred if I went to school?
No man, I was out of there like two years ago.

BRIAN
Yeah. Right. That's deadly.
(checking the time)
Maybe we should get back?

JORDAN
I'll be right there. I'm just gonna
go light up real fast.

BRIAN
(backing away)
Yeah bro, I'll let 'em know you're coming.

Brian crosses away and heads back inside through the sliding glass doors as Jordan pulls out his lighter.

FADE OUT.

*****
Epilogue:

Jordan never came back inside to finish the training, so I'll never know if there was any truth to his claims. It does seem rather doubtful or several reasons, one being that Jordan was only two years old when Tupac was murdered. (However, six Tupac albums have been released posthumously using recorded scraps he left behind, so I suppose he theoretically could have worked on one of those projects.)

As for me, I finished the training, during which time there was no mention of foreign language speakers. Afterwards I asked the supervisor about doing Portuguese calls and he said that when I came in for my first shift they would put me on Portuguese calls. I came in for my first shift and the supervisor didn't know what I was talking about. Long story short, I worked there for three days before learning that there were no Portuguese calls to be made. I was getting paid the normal, crappy rate and they only let me work four hour shifts, which did not justify the long, gas-consuming drive. So, back to the job search.