How I Gave My Student a Panic Attack

I have a voice student who was in a very serious car accident a few years ago, resulting in a brain injury that has affected her sense of direction. She's an incredibly smart girl, but the first few weeks of the semester were tricky for her since the room where we have our lessons is located in a maze of corridors with hundreds of identical doors. She used to call me from the waiting room and I would go out and fetch her, but after a few weeks she got the hang of the hallways and she is able to follow the numbers until she arrives safely at room 1180.

On Wednesday, however, I sat in the room waiting for her to arrive but she seemed to be running really late. I kept peeking out of the little window in the door to see if she was in the hallway, but I couldn't see her, so I just sat at the piano playing through some music. Finally after nearly ten minutes I got a phone call from her, but the reception was really bad and she sounded really panicked, so I ran down the hallway to the waiting room. I still didn't see her there, but at least I could hear her on the phone now. "Wait, do you have a mustache?"

I then turned around and saw her seated in the corner of the waiting area. As soon as I came over she started breathlessly apologizing for the confusion, gasping for air between each sentence. "I'm sooo sorry!!! ... I was waiting here...and then I went down the hallway to 1180...and I looked in the window...and I saw a stranger from behind.....and he had a mustache...and then I got all disoriented and everything felt all wrong...and then I tried to find my way back here but I started doubting myself...and then I had a panic attack and couldn't find my way back here...and I'm so sorry!..." At this point she almost couldn't breath so I had her sit down, take some deep breaths, and have a couple sips of water. When she finally calmed down, and as we set off together for the practice room she told me, "You can't just suddenly grow a mustache when you've got a student with a brain injury!"

Before that experience, I thought the mustache was just dorky and a little bit creepy, but now I realize that this mustache is actually very dangerous and has the potential to unleash much pain and psychological anguish on the world, like Pandora's Box or The One Ring. After Albert Herring closes on Sunday afternoon, it must be destroyed (possibly in the fires of Mordor, although that sounds like a lot of work) before it has a chance to harm anyone else.